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I have a mission in mind when I move to Victoria: Find someone who can be my mutual best friend. I plan on making friends of course, but I am hoping that one of the friends I make will eventually turn out to be a mutual best friend. My sister has someone she is practically joined at the hip with, my Jaime has her best friend from childhood who keeps in touch even though they’re in Victoria and Toronto for their respective grad work. I want a bestie too!

See, I have always been in the curious situation of always having a best friend, but never being a best friend. I’ve had plenty of best friends whom I was close with, but I know that I was never their best friend in return, someone always supplanted me by one or two positions. I do have one who comes pretty close to being a mutual best friend, but alas, he lives in Sweden. I want someone who will be able to spend time with me in Victoria for a mutual best friend. Skype, MSN and Steam are lovely, but they can only go so far.

I face a rather typical hurdle though: I don’t know how to make friends. Don’t laugh, I really don’t. Every friendship I have ever had has fallen into my lap, because the other person cared enough to pursue it, while I was clueless and stupid. Thanks, by the way, to all my friends for that. But I’ve also been hurt a lot in the past, especially here in Missoula, by people I tried to reach out and be friends with, who mocked me behind my back, called me a “retard” when I wasn’t around, and ended up giving me panic attacks when their cruelty reached full scale force. I don’t want a repeat of that: I want to attract people who will not be judgemental about my disabilities.

So I am opening up to suggestions from my readers: How can I go about making friends in Victoria? I haven’t found much success in student club settings before, even in ones where I was passionate about the topic like film and Japanese. What ways of making friends have you found helpful? Do you have any specific tips about what kind of people to look for, which places to look for friends, and how to become and stay a good friend?

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