Dear People of the Internet,

When you disagree with me, I would greatly appreciate it if you would just come outright and say you disagree with me. I can understand completely if you disagree with me. I’m a pretty controversial person who holds controversial opinions. I’m fine with that.

The thing is though, you seem to be afraid of saying you disagree with me. You instead choose to cloak your criticisms of my opinions in the guise of wanting to “play devil’s advocate here”, followed by a convoluted logic puzzle which involves much yammering and slippery slope logic, and liberal use of the phrase “imagine for a moment, that…”

I really don’t appreciate this. I’m not a Catholic and I don’t believe in any damn devil, but I’m familiar with the terminology of the devil’s advocate. And even if I weren’t and didn’t, I’d still say to you that the devil has enough damn advocates without you assisting him/her/hir/it/them. I would also tell you that you are not fooling me, and your pathetically transparent attempts to avoid admitting that you take the opposite position from me are about as offensive as your rank viewpoints most likely are.

Don’t play devil’s advocate with me. If you feel your views are really that close to the devil’s, maybe it’s you that needs to do some rethinking about your ideologies, outlook, and positions, not me.