Another wedding post, oy. Feel free to skip over this if you so desire. Maybe WordPress should design a feature that allows you to block any posts with a certain tag, like “weddings” in your subscription feed.
Anyways, I’ve been discussing theoretical wedding stuff with my sister and my mother, since mom’s an expert in the wedding business, and my sister is going to be a bridesmaid. They’re also a lot more traditional in terms of wedding ideas than what I have planned; my mother is especially not keen on a lot of my ideas. Maybe I shouldn’t have told her about wanting to have super-soakers passed out to the guests and having a water war after we signed the ketubah. Or wanting to have a fencing sword fight instead of a first dance. My sister just groans and says that she doesn’t think the guests will appreciate the awesomeness of having a trampoline at a wedding. Psh. Silly people.
The biggest argument that we are having though, is over what I will be wearing. I am not a fan of the typical wedding dress I see, all puff, princess, and cream and ivory. They’re ugly, overpriced, and look awful on me. Trust me, I’ve tried on wedding gowns before. I would, ideally, like to wear something silver or purple, my favourite colours, rather than white, and since Jaime can’t wear a dress, I thought it would be neat for us both to wear something a bit more gender neutral, such as silk embroidered trousers and nehru jackets, or knee-length gakurans. But both my mother and my sister are reacting like I suggested I wear a burlap sack when I say I don’t want to wear a white dress. My mother started laughing uncomfortably when I was talking about what I was looking for in a dress, until she realized I was serious, and then said, “Why are you doing this to me?” Ouch. My sister, for her part, just shook her head and said two words, “Wear white.” like that was the end of it.
It’s a bit daffy how attached they are to the idea of a white dress. After all, my sister can wear whatever white dress she wants at her wedding. My mother had her wedding already, and she wore a white dress for it. I don’t see why they are so threatened by the idea of me doing something different at mine. There appears to be no compelling argument for wearing a white dress other than, “It’s symbolic!” (of what?) “It’s traditional!” (So are many other aspects I’m ditching) and “It’s what people expect!” (Anyone who knows me knows to expect the unexpected! ;)) So, I’m going to pass up their advice on that. I love them both dearly, but I am retaining control of this, and I want it to be true to who I am, not what’s expected or tradition.
However, there is something that could compel me into a white dress, and that’s price. Wedding gowns are ridiculously priced, but if I managed to find one that was cheaper than what I have in mind to wear is, I would switch without complaint. I have many seamstress friends after all, and there are stores like Goodwill, and in Hawaii, there is the advantage of Kama Aina discounts. Truly, what I wear and what I look like is going to be the least important part of the whole shebang. I’d rather take that extra money I’d save and spend it on food for my guests. Everybody knows that food matters much more than clothing. Practical people remember a really ripping buffet and tea service more than they do a wedding dress.