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Whenever a friend of mine or a former classmate has a child or gets married, I give my usual congratulations, and then dread the moment right after, because it is almost inevitably followed by someone, whether it’s the couple/parent, or someone in my family/social circle asking me, “So, when are you and (Jaime’s birth name) getting hitched?” or “Planning on having your own family any time soon?”

I take these comments with a pained fake smile. I can do it better than most, because I actually am planning on getting married soon, and I do want to have children (I think, sometimes I am not really sure) But I still find the teasing to be rather rancid. I find the assumption that “family” equals two partners and a child only to be dismissive of the beautiful diversity of families. I find the idea that a couple has to get married to prove their love old-fashioned; what if they can’t get married, or they just don’t want to, for whatever reason?

Good intentions nothing, I will live for the day when people stop asking this, and not because I am married or have children of my own. Just in general, I’d like that to become less socially acceptable, because they’re uncomfortable, problematic questions.

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