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1. Oprah Winfrey and her minions Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz 

Should I ever run my own media empire, I’ll employ doctors who aren’t twits, I promise.

2. Adding ingredients like acai berry and pomegranate to processed, usually frozen sweets to tout their antioxidant value 

Since I see these at the grocery store a lot, and see online advertisements where they claim Dr. Oz touts their magic, I blame him for this, thus tying together numbers two and one neatly.

3. “Darker and Edgier” adaptations of books, television, movies, and graphic novels

Particularly when original work was written by Alan Moore. That’s gratuitous.

4. Easy filler classes at university like billiards 

I understand their function as catharsis, but personally, I think that marine botany would be more relaxing and easy than billiards.

5. Blaming video games for all social ills 

I learned more about morals surrounding murder, the value of life, and the measure of a non human from playing Shadow of the Colossus from any other authority.

6. Gluten-free diets for those who don’t have celiac’s 

I got suckered into doing this for several months. Never again, why would anyone continue that torture, augh!

7. Starbucks 

A million different places in Victoria have better coffee, stronger wi-fi signals, less watery tea, better pastries, and play better music. Why oh why did my sister always want to meet here when she was visiting me? And they insult me with their macarones.

8. Positive Psychology 

There’s a fine line between trying to prep yourself up and putting on blinders to any unhappiness and misery that suggest you’re going for the Kentucky Derby’s top prize.

9. Johnny Depp 

Post-Pirates of the Caribbean Depp, anyways. I rather liked Edward Scissorhands and Ed Wood.

10. Margarine 

Long live butter!

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