I haven’t interacted with many people in the last four weeks. Jaime, my advisor, my sister, and my sister’s friend have been the people I’ve communicated with the most, and apart from Jaime, that’s been limited as well.
With the fall semester approaching, all of that is about to change. I’ll be interacting with a series of new people, and I am hoping they’ll be more to my taste as friends than the ones I mainly interacted with in Missoula* who annoyed me to no end.
The type of person I yearn for as a friend appears to be twice as rare as a sparkly purple unicorn though: The significant other of a trans person. It may seem somewhat shallow to seek someone out based on that attribute, but truth be told, I’ve gotten depressed at how little I can relate to other coupled people, queer and straight alike. The straight ones indulge in silly stereotyping about their boyfriends (“Oh, what can you expect from a man anyways?”) I grow quickly weary at their conversations, as if we live in completely alternate universes. The queer ones have been, I’m sorry to say, hostile towards Jaime and I because we’re still in the closet to our families (Well, mine at least) and the public.
It would mean so much to me if I could find a couple where one of the partners was trans, so we could have some conversations and support each other in our somewhat unique position.
Jaime and I are a good support network for each other, but I get stumped at questions about the best type of hormones, quality plus-size trans-friendly clothing and shoes, voice therapy, the right technique for using the correct washroom without having management called on you, and other trans issues, since I’m cisgendered. Similarly, although Jaime is always supporting and full of affection, but I want someone who knows the experience of staying by your woman (or man) when the entire world expects you won’t last “once the hormones come along” or some other stupid prediction.
If you’re out there, if you’re the partner of a trans person, and you are full of love, happy with your relationship, and proud to be with your partner as they discover themselves and start living in a way that’s true to them, how about leaving a comment on this post? I’d love to hear from you!
* Not that I didn’t make some wonderful friends there, but many people got on my nerves there, and I unfortunately left the town with more enemies than friends. That’s a particular talent of mine.