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I’m in Seattle for a mini vacation the next two weeks, and I plan, at some point, on making a visit to Babeland, Seattle’s great sex toy store. What a perfect springboard for a conversation about sex toys!

I genuinely don’t understand why these are so taboo. My Hitachi was the only thing that kept me going during an exceptionally difficult day when I was in Missoula. If I was tired, or grouchy, or having a hard time with executive functioning, I would just plow myself through it all with the promise that when I got home, I could plug in my Hitachi and enjoy myself. It’s just as good as stimming for relaxing and re-adjusting to the world.

Autism is frequently depicted as a “children’s condition” in the mainstream media, and when we do talk about adult autistics, it’s usually hand-wringing about how on earth we’re going to house “those people” and pay for their basic needs once their parents die. There are almost no discussions centring around  the reproductive, sexual, and emotional health of autistic adults, which is truly tragic. I intend to see a change to this, and to see to it that when this discussion happens, sex toys play a role.

For those who may never have sexual partners, for one reason or another, sex toys offer a way to satisfy yourself and keep your sexual and reproductive health in check. For many who can’t otherwise achieve orgasm through manual masturbation or sexual intercourse, they’re ideal, not only to attain orgasm, but, for autistics who wish to start families, they can be used to obtain a sperm sample.

People like me who have parters and active sex drives can benefit greatly from sex toys as well. A sex toy like the Gigi is a queer woman’s best friend; it allows for vaginal and G-spot stimulation, and allows both partners to participate- one holds the toy, the other gets the pleasure. I also believe strongly that those with trans partners who are still in the process of getting comfortable in their identity and may or may not have had surgery greatly benefit from sex toys- It allows them to have sex which is closer to their true identity and gender than they may be able to have without the aid of a toy.