, ,

Courtesy of Pharyngula, I stumbled across these excerpts from, get this, an Ayn Rand themed dating site. And it is a comedic gold mine. The only down side is, these yo-yos act the way the media seems to think all Aspergers/autistic people do and embody every single negative untrue stereotype about us. Don’t believe me? Here’s some gold nuggets from the site, emphasis mine:

[I am] short, stark, and mansome.

You should contact me if you are a skinny woman. If your words are a meaningful progression of concepts rather than a series of vocalizations induced by your spinal cord for the purpose of complementing my tone of voice. If you’ve seen the meatbot, the walking automaton, the pod-people, the dense, glazy-eyed substrate through which living organisms such as myself must escape to reach air and sunlight. If you’ve realized that if speech is to be regarded as a cognitive function, technically they aren’t speaking, and you don’t have to listen.

Mansome? Mansome? The rest, I am not even going to touch. He sounds like a Batman villain monologuing. Very attractive. But wait, there’s more!

I am rational, integrated, and efficacious. So far, I’ve never met a person who lives up to the standard I hold for myself (except online).

I take my relationships seriously. I am simply not attracted to many of the women in this world. I do not “hook-up” with girls. I only kiss those who deserve, and so far I have only encountered one who did. I would love to find someone I can learn something from; someone who challenges me to think; someone I can feel like I’ve won, rather than lowered myself to.

Something you’ve won? Oh yes, the old “women are to be conquered” rather than treating someone you want to love/have sex with (not mutually exclusive there) you think she’d love to feel like a trophy you bagged in a canned Safari. Or does he mean “won” as in won her over? More like bowled her over. I’m trapped on my floor with two ribs cracked from laughing too hard.

And my favourites:
Please note: If you’re overweight, I won’t date you. If you believe in God, I won’t date you. If you vote for Democrats, I won’t date you.

Awww. Two out of three. I feel so rejected! Goodness gracious, how shall I ever cope with the tragic feelings of inadequacy welling up inside me from this rejection!?!


I love intelligent, sassy girls, particularly those working in consulting or investment banking (but other fields are great too). Really, nothing is hotter than an accomplished girl in a suit, as long as she is willing to settle down and have my children. I want a girl who will support my ambitions against the naysayers in society.

So… He wants an accomplished, intelligent, ambitious woman, provided that she is going to put all of these traits on the back burner to crap out *his* children, and give him backrubs and whisper words of encouragement for his ambitions? What a winner! An absolute gem!

So yea. Self-absorbed, socially clueless, has a large vocabulary and isn’t afraid to use it… These are all traits the mainstream media assigns to people with Asperger Syndrome. And that’s what offends me most of all. Stop tarring us with the same brush, damnit, I haven’t liked Ayn Rand since I got over my awkward evil genius phase at 14! Seriously. It is one thing to talk like they are when you are in high school, most people in high school think they’re intellectual hot shit. But you know what happens? We go to college. We get jobs. We realize we’re not the smartest people on the planet, that we have a lot to learn and a lot to be taught, so we stop acting like the world of intelligent discourse revolves around us. Past the age of 18, it’s deeply disturbing to still act like you are a misunderstood golden child of the top-secret society of clandestine intelligentsia.

Speaking of Ayn Rand, she probably wouldn’t date any of these losers. She sure as hell wouldn’t settle down to have children with them, no woman possessing a single iota of self-respect would.