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Today, NY Governor Andrew Cuomo said that the only reason to deny marriage equality to queer couples was a desire to discriminate. 

My first thought of this statement was “Well, duh!” But then I started thinking a little, and, as ridiculous as this sounds, this simple statement apparently isn’t enough for some people. They still believe there are “legitimate” reasons to deny marriage equality, and come up with a load of needlessly complex harebrained theories as to how marriage equality would miraculously mean the end of the government, result in massive inflation, cause economic disruptions, or turn children into rainbow-flag waving zombies.

You name it, two women or two men getting married would somehow be responsible for a complex disaster we simply must prevent, or think carefully about before we dare extend marriage equality to all.

And you know what? No matter what they cook up, I’m going to call them out on it: The purveyors of these ridiculous fantasies are not seriously concerned about these mysterious maladies. They are using them as an elaborate ruse to hide the same old culprit inherent in every opposition to marriage equality: A desire to keep queer people second-class citizens and deny them the acknowledgement of being adult human beings no different or worse than them. Plain and simple. The disguises are amusing in their needless complexity and false cutesy “what, me discriminate?” innocence, but under it all, they’re still just squicked at the idea of a man-on-man beast with two backs.

Don’t let them ever tell you otherwise.

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