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What’s this? No, it’s not a Dalek’s toothbrush, nor a fancy dermalogical tool, or Cleopatra’s back-scratcher. It is the Eroscillator. If the Hitachi is the Cadillac of Vibrators, this baby here is the Aston Martin of the bunch. It even has the science to back it up, and the endorsement of the eternally adorable Dr. Ruth! So, here are five reasons why you should get this for you or a loved one in your life:

1.) Reduced noise levels make it more sensory-friendly. I have to say, there’s something a little awkward and embarrassing about having to wear earplugs while using a vibrator. Nobody else can see me, but I can’t help but feel that I look silly. As much as I love my Hitachi Magic Wand, I’ve had to wear headphones while using it, and cover it up with sheets and blankets in order to muffle the noise. I am also a big fan of Lelo products, but one time during a session with my Gigi, Jaime walked in, stared at me, and remarked that judging from the noise level, she wasn’t sure if I was playing with myself, or if Pearl Harbour was being attacked. Heh heh heh. But yes, a quiet vibrator is an autism-friendly one.

2.) The more you buy, the more you save. If you get the full set with all of the vaguely amusing named accessories (Pearls of the Orient? French Legionnaire’s Moustache?) you end up saving money rather than having to pay for each separate accessory. I consider this to be a promotion of sexual experimentation, which I am a huge fan of.

3.) With this many power settings and accessories, it’s bound to have at least one that tickles your pickle, which is good for those who may be sensory seeking and therefore a tad more picky.

4.) It’s strong enough to be ideal for those who may have a reduced sensory input due to surgery or drugs (Like trans folk) It’s also great for both male and female genitals, but since it’s geared towards women, it can be used by cis-trans couples as a stepping stone to sex acts which they’re comfortable with.

5.) It’s Swiss, like chocolate. Combine this with chocolate, and you have a good evening ahead for yourself.

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